Pittsburgh Steelers
History
Founded in 1972
Did not cut Johnny Unitas or Len Dawson, nosiree.
4 time Super Bowl champions (2 time Referee Award for Best Bribe, 2005 & 2008)
First Super Bowl loss occurred when Dallas Cowboy Larry Brown put on a Steelers uniform and confused Neil O'Donnell.
Second Super Bowl loss occurred when the city of Green Bay decided that the heathen Ben Roethlisberger should get raped by Mark Chmura, which caused him great duress during the big game.
2005 Super Bowl Run
If Kimo von Oelhoffen didn't hit Carson Palmer, Shaun Alexander would be wearing a Super Bowl ring right now.
The primary source of the Steelers' success during their run was from Troy Polamalu and his hair. Troy intercepted 4 passes with his hair, but one was overturned in the playoffs because Pete Morelli is racist against Samoans.
See: Super Bowl XL
Super Bowl XLIII
The Steelers beat the Arizona Cardinals (I know, who woulda thought!) in the most watched TV program ever.
Wait, the most watched program ever? I must be confusing the Cardinals with the Giants and the Steelers with the Patriots. I mean, really, people watching a sporting event that doesn't involve a New York and a Boston team? You see...
About Steelers Fans
Piggish-looking, sadomasochistic automatons whose only known forms of relaxation are swilling watery beer from vast tubs and singing the idiotically repetitive verses of their porcine fight songs--both of which amusements probably hark back to a prehuman state, and this probably accounts for the fact that they have never been successfully Christianized. Their language lacks any semblance of civilized speech. Their usual diet consists almost wholly of old cabbage and sections of animal intestines filled with blood and gore. Now that their main industrial base has collapsed in ruins they've set forth, lemming-like, on a mission to infest every one of the other regions home to sports teams to loiter in sports bars in their garish jerseys and sing drunken hymns to the various famed criminals that make up their team.
The SAS Steelers fans are an exception, however. Usually.
Rivals
Teams that think they're the Steelers' rivals but aren't because they suck
