Current events
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MLB
- The Washington Nationals aren't just bad at baseball; they're equally bad at spelling. Things they've misspelled this season:
- Their own name on their uniforms ("Natinals")
- Jordan Zimmermann's name on his bats (forgot the double -n)
- Teddy Roosevelt's name on a presidential bobblehead ("Rossevelt").
- Mannymania ends tragically with the news that he either cheats or is a pregnant woman.
- David Ortiz cheats too.
- Claims he doesn't.
- Every baseball player ever to play the game cheated, except for Albert Pujols and maybe Chris Sabo.
- Mets fans Have begun their annual ritual suicide: [1]
- This year being worse than most as the World Series looks to be doubly insufferable.
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NFL
- ESPN signs Brett Favre to the Minnesota Vikings
- SAS smug-Favre crew rejoices.
- Matt Stafford is not good enough to demonstrate the excellence demanded by Detroit Lions fans.*&
- 59-0 [2]
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NBA
- Lakers choke epically, get humiliated by the Celtics in game 6. City of Boston wins another sports title. Rest of country groans collectively.
- Pretty much the reverse of the above, except I think Orlando was involved somehow.
- The Oklahoma City Thunder captured the hearts of NBA fans everywhere.
- Kevin McHale is finally gone, but the scars and victims still weigh heavy on our souls.
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NHL
- Chris Pronger is traded to the Flyers. Probably already suspended.
- The new season has started! Wait a minute, this can't be right. Colorado is good, so are the Rangers????
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NCAA
- Athletes doctor their grades. This is a surprise to anyone?
- Billy Gillispie honors Kentucky basketball with a DUI. [3]
- It's finally warm enough for jorts.
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Soccer
- Manchester City is the richest soccer club in the world. You heard me. Fucking Arabs man.
- USA!!! USA!!! USA!!! We're going to the World Cup, again!
- Speaking of that World Cup, maybe it won't be in South Africa after all!
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Rugby
- Australia lol
- New Zealand lol
- wait no-one cares about rugby
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NASCAR
- LEFT TURN
- LEFT TURN
- LEFT TURN
- CRASH
- LEFT TURN
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Formula One
- JENSON BUTTON HAS ONE THE WORLD DRIVER'S CHAMPIONSHIP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111111111!!!!!!!!!!!one!!!!!!!
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IRL
- Indy Car has temporarily stopped being the Scott Dixon Invitational.
- DANICA DANICA DANICA DANICA
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Wrestling
- So, the guy who is against drug use is the bad guy here, and the guy with serious drug abuse problems is the hero that kids look up to. Got it.
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Boxing
- Oscar de la... W-T-F!
- Who cares, boxing is fake and gay.
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MMA
- Brock Lesnar is hated by MMA fans and loved by Wrestling fans. He punches people in the face, pisses off sponsors, and has fought like 3 people ever.
- Must have been the right three people, since he's now the undisputed UFC Heavyweight champion.
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SAS
- SAS explodes when creepy voyeur videos of Erin Andrews nude are put on the internet. Debates begin over whether or not this is creepy as fuck and whether she had it coming by being a women who is sometimes on TV. Sides are chosen, the term vapid cunt is probably used somewhere, and the thread is closed fairly quickly.
