SAS Wiki:Current events
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SAS Wiki
- Everyone's taking the Aspie test.
MLB
- Some faggot hit his 600th dinger
- OH GOD MY ELBOW
- Pedro Alvarez greatest thing to happen to Pittsburgh Pirates since maybe ever.
- Robinson Cano is the best player in the AL, and therefore all of baseball. This view may only be held by Yankee homers.
- Jack Zduriencik is going to take advantage of some poor schmuck for Cliff Lee - well it was the Rangers so they can commence their annual second-half collapse but still get half of a Cy Young out of it.
- Blue Jays still like hitting only dingers. Jose Bautista? Really?
- Arizona Diamondbacks behead front office, rest of world shocked to learn people actually follow the D'Backs. New manager Kirk Gibson shocked to find out that he cannot hit limp-off home run every game. New General Manager Jerry Dipoto trades Dan Haren for sack of baseballs and a used rosin bag.
- Pittsburgh Pirates GM Neil Huntingdon refuses to offer lube to Ned Colletti before fucking him out of Andrew Lambo and James McDonald for PROVEN CLOSER Octavio Dotel
- Lou Piniella straight-up quit on the Cubs to be with his family. Rest of the Cubs quit a hundred years ago.
NFL
- Brett Farve is not retiring.
- He's also starting shit with his coach.
- GET YO POPCRN RDY CINCY
NBA
- LEBRON LEBRON LEBRON is going to party in the city where the heat is on all night on the beach till the break of dawn.
- Amar'e Stoudemire is Jewish!
NHL
- Flames are struck with a malignant Jokinen
-
gets 5.5 million and a no-trade from Ottawa
-
Ilya Kovalchuk resigns with the Devils dashing hopes of Islanders fan(s) everywhereGary Bettman sneezes or something and finds some testicles - Pittsburgh Penguins sign new defensive corps. Might not be the softest in the league.
FIFA World Cup 2010
- Spain won. No one cares.
NCAA
Golf
- Tiger Woods got cleaned the fuck out.
- But not as cleaned out as initially reported
- Is now free to sow his royal oats wherever he chooses.
Tennis
NASCAR
- LEFT TURN
- LEFT TURN
- LEFT TURN
- CRASH
- LEFT TURN
Wrestling
- Choking ring announcers with ties can get you fired, yet ramming a limo with a passenger inside doesn't.
Mixed Martial Arts
- Anderson Silva triangled Chael Sonnen in the Chael Sonnenest fight ever
- James Toney is currently training with Frank Dux and King Mo Mousasi to prepare for Randy Couture
- Brock Lesnar is hated by MMA fans and loved by Wrestling fans. He punches people in the face, pisses off sponsors, and has fought like 3 people ever.
- Must have been the right three people, since he's now the undisputed UFC Heavyweight champion.
- Actually beat Shane Carwin by submission, lol.
- Fedor lol
Competitive Eating
- Joey Chestnut wins again! God bless America!
- Takeru Kobayashi imprisoned for possibly sedition or something I don't know.

